Robin Hood

What's the Deal:  We all know the story of Robin Hood, the forest-dwelling English vigilante / outlaw whose band of merry men thwarted the greedy English crown by "robbing from the rich and giving to the poor."  However, that is not the story that the current "Robin Hood" tells.  It's a shame, because that story is much better than the one portrayed in this film. 

This version tells the "early" story of Robin Longstride, the man who will eventually become Robin Hood (in a sequel, I assume). 

Here, Robin is a soldier returning to England after the crusades.  When a fellow soldier (Robert of Loxley) is mortally wounded in an ambush, his dying wish is that Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe) take his (Robert's) sword back to Loxley to his (Robert's) father.  So Robin, along with his friends Little John and Will Scarlett and some other guy take the sword back, meeting Robert's father and widow (Cate Blanchett as Marion) when they get there.  And then Robert's father suggests that Robin pretend to be Robert of Loxley who has returned home from the Crusades so that Robert's widow Marion won't get her land taken away by the greedy tax-hungry government.  What?  I know...I don't get it either.  But that's what happens.  And apparently no one remembers what the real Robert of Loxley looks like, because the whole town has a huge party to welcome him home.  Robin and his entourage also meet Friar Tuck, who, in addition to being a drunk, is also a beekeeper.  So there's that. 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, the newly crowned King John, King John's mother, some guy named Godfrey, King John's second wife, and a "chancellor" all have hushed dialogues by the light of various fires about King John's leadership and the fate of England.  Then they all double-cross one another about 50 times.  It's impossible to keep track of.  (Seriously, at one point I looked at Melissa and told her I had no idea what was going on.  She responded that she hadn't known for a long time).  But you don't really have to keep track of it, because it all culminates in a battle where Robin's side wins!

What I liked: 
1.  The very fist scene.  King Richard and his British army are "sacking" a castle (that seems to be the British word for what they were doing), and it's actually really cool to see all the different tricks they had to get up the wall and through the door.  I don't know how historically accurate it all is, but it was cool to watch. 

2.  The Archery.  There are a whole lot of battles in the movie, and a lot of them contain cool bow-and-arrow sequences.  I especially liked the close-up slow motion shot of the arrow leaving the bow.  Neat cinematography. 

3.  The idea.  The studio had a good idea with a "Robin Hood Begins" movie.  Unfortunately, I just don't think they pulled it off in this one. 


What I didn't:
1.  It's just not very original.  Sure, it tries to be, by telling the story of Robin Hood that has never been told before...but there's a reason its never been told before: it's not as good as the Robin Hood story we all know and love.  And it would be original if I hadn't seen Braveheart.  Or Gladiator.  Or Troy.  Or Kingdom of Heaven.  Or Rob Roy.  Or First Knight.  But I have, so it wasn't.

2.  The inevitable comparisons to the Kevin Costner and Morgan Freemen movie "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".  I still think the Costner version is an outstanding movie.  As far as I'm concerned, that's the definitive Robin Hood movie, and you should rent that one again.  Plus, the Costner version was directed by Baylor alum Kevin Reynolds. 

3.  No humor.  None.  There is not a single light, semi-funny moment of comic relief in this movie.  Compare that to the Costner version, which contains brilliant lines like this one from Alan Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham: "I'm going to cut his heart out with a spoon.  Why a spoon, cousin?  Because it's dull you idiot, it will hurt more." 

4.  The lady sitting in front of us had really, really unbelievably bad B.O.  It was hard to breathe, and may have ruined the whole movie for me.  I'm not sure.  It certainly did for Melissa. 

5.  Cate Blanchett.  I just can't figure her out.  Sometimes she's really beautiful (see Scorsese's Aviator), and sometimes she's just not.